Prince is dead. He was an influential part of my youth. The first time I saw Purple Rain was during a time in my life that was difficult. I was just a 13 year old from sheltered home. The movie spoke to me. The music, the story line, the charisma of a hugely talented, sexually charged artist. I was spell bound. I was lucky enough to see him in concert once. Something I can say I was lucky enough to check off my “bucket list.”
As we grow older and our lives take on important aspects of focus (kids, marriage, profession) those things of childhood become a symbol of a certain chapter of our life. On April 21, 2016 something happened that shook me harder than I thought it would. When Prince died so suddenly, I didn’t expect to have it rock me the way it did. But, it wasn’t because of those things of childhood. It was`because of what I learned along the way to where I presently am in my life. As I was reading about his life’s story as it’s told in the media—marriages, relationships, family dysfunction, massive wealth, huge levels of professional influence, profound respect by so many important people, philanthropy—it’s shocking that he died alone. He died alone in an elevator in a huge mansion that the media reported he also lived in alone. Shock, awe... sadness.
The stories relayed many wild affairs in his youth with many beautiful, charismatic women. Falling in love a small handful of times to where he either became engaged or married. All ending. Every one of them. How can someone have the world and all the most amazing things that it has to offer, and die alone? It’s also reported that he has no wife or children to leave his massive fortune to, so it may end up going to his sister. Apparently not because they were close and he chose to bequeath it to her. But, because there was no one that had become his life partner.
It brought to mind a lesson I learned early in life. The rawest emotion I observed in a family member when her husband died was that she loved him so much that the pain of having to go on without him was too much to bear. That, the one thing she wanted was just one more day with her beloved. Working with couples, I see so many people that can't bear to still live in the same house together. They resent each other, and just want to get away from each other. I feel, in my heart, that one of the most bittersweet things we can hope for when we are in a committed relationship is that we will deeply, deeply mourn our soul mate. That if we've done it right, we will have to part from one another with the only wish being "to have one more day.” I want to get it right in this lifetime. I don’t want to die alone.
As we grow older and our lives take on important aspects of focus (kids, marriage, profession) those things of childhood become a symbol of a certain chapter of our life. On April 21, 2016 something happened that shook me harder than I thought it would. When Prince died so suddenly, I didn’t expect to have it rock me the way it did. But, it wasn’t because of those things of childhood. It was`because of what I learned along the way to where I presently am in my life. As I was reading about his life’s story as it’s told in the media—marriages, relationships, family dysfunction, massive wealth, huge levels of professional influence, profound respect by so many important people, philanthropy—it’s shocking that he died alone. He died alone in an elevator in a huge mansion that the media reported he also lived in alone. Shock, awe... sadness.
The stories relayed many wild affairs in his youth with many beautiful, charismatic women. Falling in love a small handful of times to where he either became engaged or married. All ending. Every one of them. How can someone have the world and all the most amazing things that it has to offer, and die alone? It’s also reported that he has no wife or children to leave his massive fortune to, so it may end up going to his sister. Apparently not because they were close and he chose to bequeath it to her. But, because there was no one that had become his life partner.
It brought to mind a lesson I learned early in life. The rawest emotion I observed in a family member when her husband died was that she loved him so much that the pain of having to go on without him was too much to bear. That, the one thing she wanted was just one more day with her beloved. Working with couples, I see so many people that can't bear to still live in the same house together. They resent each other, and just want to get away from each other. I feel, in my heart, that one of the most bittersweet things we can hope for when we are in a committed relationship is that we will deeply, deeply mourn our soul mate. That if we've done it right, we will have to part from one another with the only wish being "to have one more day.” I want to get it right in this lifetime. I don’t want to die alone.
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